Well I'm getting older about 3 years away from being 30. And Its crazy!!
I'm still in college and thankfully my mom is still able to support me because being in a masters program and being on your own is tough. Without support things could have been much slower for me or worse non existent. I'm forever grateful.
But today the realization came to me that things are going to be so different and scary.
These thoughts happened because I currently am with someone.
Ha! weird right?!
I always wanted to get married have a family and have a great adult life,... when I was young. Now I fear it. I understand why people have commitment issues now. When you realize things are about to be drastically different in just a few years, its scary.
So scary that i keep telling myself that things wont change and nothing good will happen for me. Nothing good like:
graduating college, getting a career, owning a house, getingt a car, have a REAL man, no more games, less friends, paying REAL bills, supporting others, support people in other countries, get married, move in with your mate, have a child, HEALTH... on and on
Lord, things go so fast. I want to press slow-mo on my life, not rewind and definitely not fast forward. Oh and this would be a good time to tell you that one of my fears is getting old.
But Oh well I'll get over it.
I hope
But yeah this is what life if huh? Living it frivolously as a child and then somewhere in the middle u realize that this is it, your life is what you make of it.
YOU CAN NOT let others rule your life. you have to fight the battles inside of you to live on, and you have to fight the battles outside of you to move forward. its difficult but everyone goes through it.
brave souls have done it before and so can you!
